"but this character can’t be gay because they had a canon hetero relationship/crush!!!!!"
allow me to introduce you to two very interesting concepts
bisexuality and pansexuality
Those are actually the same concept.
Pansexuality is a way of repackaging bisexuality to appease biphobic monosexuals, who tried to delegitimize bisexuality by claiming that “bisexuals are transphobic/binarist/backwards” while hypocritically leaving lesbians or gays exempt from such accusations.
The official definition for bisexuality is “being attracted to both people of your own gender, and people not of your gender.”
Saying that bisexuality is a different kind of sexuality from pansexuality just further perpetuates the myth that bisexuality/bisexuals are binarist and erases the long history of genderqueer and trans people who themselves identified as bisexuals and who were institutionalized for their sexualities.
Wow. Just, wow. Are we really going to have this discussion?
While pansexuality and bisexuality are very similar, I identified as pansexual for years and I have friends who identify as pan and you’re completely wrong.
Bisexuality does not have to mean attraction to two binary genders. And even if it did, trans people still fall into the gender binary. So the argument that pansexuality makes bisexuals look transphobic doesn’t even apply.
At the end of the day, if someone wants to call themselves bi or pan, don’t try to tell them that they’re wrong about their sexuality or that all pansexuals should just call themselves bi. A person’s sexual identity is personal to them and if they feel better using the word pansexual rather than bisexual you have no right to tell them that they’re wrong. Regardless of if the person is trans, non-binary, or cis. If they want to refer to themselves as pan or bi they’re allowed to because only they can know what sexual identity they feel closer to.
You have misread my comment. Please go back and read it again.
1) I was not my intention to imply that I thought transgender people were non-binary. They are binary. I am well aware of this.
What I said was: *biphobic monosexuals accused bisexuals of being non-binarist and transphobic as a way of delegitimizing bisexuality”
To clarify: In the past, biphobic monosexuals tried to deligitimize bisexuality by claiming that bisexuals were transphobic, even though it was they themselves who were actually being transphobic by making such claims in the first place. In the past biphobic monosexuals tried to deligitimize bisexuality by claiming that bisexuality was binarist. They were wrong, and they did not understand what bisexuality actually means.
This actually happened, in the history of the queer movement. People actually said these things. I am relating historical facts about bi-exclusion in the queer community.
2) Bisexuals invented the word pansexual because the word bisexual had become so heavily stigmatized, so steeped in negative cultural stereotypes, that bisexuals no longer wanted to be associated with it.
Pansexuals today have bisexuals to thank for that term even existing in the first place.
Again. These are historical facts. This is the etymology of the word pansexual.
3) Words have histories and those histories are important because they carry with them stereotypes and stigmas that haunt bi/pansexuals to this day.
You say that bisexual and pansexual have “similar” definitions. Okay, so what’s the difference, then?
The difference is history and stigma. The term bisexual has been stereotyped and stigmatized ad nauseam for decades. The term pansexual has not, partially because it has not been around as long, and partially because the dominant culture remains largely unaware of its use.
You cannot pretend that the words “bisexual” and “pansexual” exist in a cultural vacuum. You cannot ignore the fact that biphobia in the queer community is the entire reason we have so many terms that all seem to mean almost exactly the same thing in the first place.
4) Understand that, if you call yourself pansexual that is your identity, your preference, your decision.
Why not say, “they mostly mean the same thing; I just prefer to define myself using this term.”
Why are you going out of your way to insist that the two terms represent completely separate and distinct identities, even though you yourself can’t come up with any clear distinction between the two terms?
I’ll tell you why. Because the term bisexual is heavily stigmatized.
And the thing is, it’s perfectly alright to not want to associate yourself with stigmatized language. Not every word needs to be reclaimed.
But there is a big difference between saying, “I don’t like to use this term to define myself” and saying “I’m not anything like those people who use this term to define themselves.”
Because even today people constantly misinterpret bisexuality as binarist, and pansexuality as “more inclusive.” When you make a point of always listing pansexuality and bisexuality as completely separate identities, rather than as to sides of the same coin you encouraging those preconceptions — there is no such thing, linguistically or socially speaking, as “separate but equal.”
You are also speaking over the people who use the two terms interchangeably, because when you refer to “pansexuals” and “bisexuals” you’re not referring to yourself and your own identity. You’re referring to communities. You’re refusing to acknowledge the overlap that exists, and the many people use the two terms interchangeably. You are erasing the perspective of the many people who consider us one community with your divisive language, and that is ABSOLUTELY, UNQUESTIONABLY BIPHOBIC.