Sometimes I wonder if actors don’t just use the whole “I follow a strict diet/fitness regimen” thing as an excuse to avoid awkward food related social situations.
Fans made cookies with my face printed on them, but I can’t eat them because
the idea of eating my own face creeps me the fuck out. Shit, I’m on a talk show, I can’t say that. People will start calling me “eccentric.” I’m trying to keep my figure.
Oh no! I can’t eat cake today. P
eople always look at me like I’m nuts when I say I don’t like cake. Why don’t they ever serve pie at these things? Pie is so much better than cake. My personal trainer forbid it.
Wow, that jello surprise looks delish!
No edible food has ever had the word “surprise” in its title. It’s NEON GREEN. Is that supposed to be whipped cream or marshmallow fluff or what? It probably tastes like petroleum jelly mixed with cough syrup. Oh man, it’s too bad I’m not eating carbs this month.